undecided

Disappointed..

2010-05-12T02:37:00.001-07:00

i am dissappointed in life a few days now. it started on the last day of my final paper. it was selling final paper. guess wat. it is hard.the paper was really hard. i only did wat i knew and the rest hentam saja. then it was the last day to see my frens n all cos we do not noe where we will be thrown at u noe. it could be shah alam until arau. lets just pray and hope i dun get arau. its bad enough i had to survive in Kedah. deserted place but way better then arau la. neway. wat really turn down my day was that. my fren.my best fren.refuse to see me. resfuse to say goodbye to me. eventhough she noes that, dat day could be da last day we will ever lepak together but she didnt bother at all. i was so dissappointed and moral down. i am sad till today to think about it though. its sad because for 3 years we have been frens and poof out of the sudden she dont wana see me. MAYBE i did sumthing wrong to her but i didnt realise it. how should i noe.i Am not a mirror to myself. Frens are suppose to be the mirror for yourself. for instance, let say u have somthing on ur hair and u dun realise it untill ur frens tell u. thats wat i mean by frens are suppose to act as a mirror to us. not just apperance and personality but also for attitudes and many more.

So far i hope she enjoys everybit of her time now without me.im not pist.but just sad. she like my best fren der. but y is she treating me like diss. kalau ada ak wat salah bgtau kt ak. masalahnye bknnye kite dpt jumpe lg next time and it is da last time pun still xnk tegor. so who am i suppose to tell her dat. but i did try and she still stand wif her answer. so i just have to face it then.

lyana,

u r one of my best fren, being wif u make me feel like myself. i enjoy having u around. we have so many things in common.music.movie and so on. i care for u lyana. i nvr meant to hurt ur feelings. i have always been der for u in any kind of way. i appreaciate everything that we have done together b.. i dunno wat else to say except that i am really sorry for all the mistakes that i have done dat hurt ur feeling. i do not have the intention to do so at all. ppls forgive me for all the sins that i have done to u. n i want u to be happy all the time. u are ryte. i should move on. and percayala i am moving on now.even fatin dun believe me but have confidence in me b. i am trying my best to move on wif who u noe la kn.. give me time and i will move on.

thank you for eveything and sory. may god bless u wif prosperous life and happiness in what ever field u will be entering later on.. peace..

2010

2010-04-24T09:02:00.000-07:00

it actually quite late when i am about to share wif u guys about wat happen in the early 4 months of this year. Many things happen during this months and it happen fast. faster then a bullet train. u wana noe y i said its fast. cos i just realise that time moves really fast.

January.

i dont really remember wat happen in this particular month. its all mixed and complicated. but so far what i noe is that i made a new fren. this person name does not need to be mention it here because i really hate him right now. i will tell u later in the other month y i hate him. so in this month, sue which is my best buddy in Uitm along wif many others, introduce to me her fren from Kl. he was her old school mate. at frist i really thought he is a dull n could be a nice person. then later on in the month, me and him got tight. basiclly wat i did was i ADAPT wif the situation. its an easy thing to do u noe.. adapting to the environment. well, when we became close. i did one mistake which i regret done it man.. i let him enter my house. i had to because at that particular time it was actually pityness frm me seeing him sleeping in the car or a motel. its not that he doesnt have a house. he has. but its far away from me and sue. so i decided to let him sleep at my place just for one night. BUT god KNows wat. he f*****ng took advantage of it. it like he nvr wanted to go home. he became close to my housemates. then they became close to him. then he became close to mock. and lastly he have the urges to create a business with them. hey, basically i have no where to go. hes always with me. its like i don even have my own 5 mins of ME.. xde.. every day he is around. those days i wish i could just tell him to bug off u noe. tp i didnt. btw during the end of this month. i met wif an accident. a pretty damn bad accident but ALHAMDULILLAH i am ok. i did not get injured. it was him to be blame.bastard.

FeBruaRy

the new born of 113 taman tasik semeling company called " Crowd zero".. name was given by him and he took it from the movie crow zero.. what an idiot. i wasnt against it u noe. hey as long as it bring money to the house im happy. then they ( the whole half of my housemate) decided to do a shirt production. as a starting company shirts. more towards T-shirts. it is nice n ok la u noe. as u noe.. im not involve in the company at all. i have circumstances that made me not join the company at that that.

later in the month was my birthday.. it was nice.. ikhwan wanted a bithday party. so we had one. a small one in kl house. not many of our frens could make it cos it was a last minute thing.but its ok. i have my family. amir came. unexpectedly nazri which is my buddy from uitm last time. he came. he was from uitm shah alam. glad he came. gave me 3 boxes of cigerates man. for my present. hehe..cool.. but wat i was hoping on that day was just a msg from somebody dat i really care. but da msg did not got to me. that person did not sent me a simple birhtday msg. it was a sad thing to think about it cause when that person birthday.damn. i gave wateva she wanted. but its ok la. benda dh lepas.mls nk pkr u noe. thanks to my parents and family for organizing a quick birthday party. n thanks to fatin, mira, nina,mowjo who also manages to come. thank u

March...

march nuthing much happen actually. we celebrated papa's birthday. then it was just test n quizes. it was a very hectic month. it went actually quite fast. the next thing u noe. its april. i cant really remember wat happen during that month. but i will check wif my calender and get back to it yea. lets go to april.

April..

April is the month of blough. as we noe its an aprilful month. well to me it really was a freaking bad month. eventhough the month is not ending yet. but so many things happen in this month.

where do we start yea? maybe i could say the days of doing our assigment. ETR was the worst man. damn tired. we have VIVA which is a presentation of our business plan. i actually think that our business plan was full wif bullshits cos we dint even want to do wat we had to do. which is to set up a business plan for a budget hotel. for me especially. i dint want to do it. but of course under circumstances i still have to do it. The worst day that happen in this month was on the 13th April 2010. that is the day that i would not forget for the rest of my life. sumthing really bad luck happen to me on that particular. i kinda cannot tell it here because i have promised some ppl that it cannot be discussed anywhere. u just think dat any worse thing that could come up to ur head right now. dats wat happen. i m really sory. i cannot tell u in here. but i just wana express in my blog so dat it will remind me of that awfull day.

Now final exam have come. basically i just finish 2 papers. ETR paper was the hardest so far. i dun noe about transportation and selling which is going to happen in next month. the 3 rd and 9 th of May. damn. i really shud start studying for both subject. im here actually in kl. taking a break from etr paper which destroy my mood to stdy the rest of the subject. u wana noe wat happen here in kl. to be specific. yesterday. i met sumbody new. this person really changes my mind on many different perception. not on her but towards stuff. i really hope to get to noe dis person more.

well thats it for now cos its getting late. my eyes cant stand dee. i promise i will finish this part of the early 4 months of this year. dun forget to leave ur comment to me MR.UndeciDeD

undecided 3

2009-11-30T20:34:00.000-08:00

october 27 2009

Bile kita sygkn seseorang tu... its not easy for us to forget bout dem.. dats da lesson dat i learn today.

Time shows at 2 am.. i cant stop thinking on how lucky i am to ber her fren..eventhough my intention was to ber hers.. but as da topicc says.. its hard to let go someone dat u really care for.. im facing the same thins as she is.. wer she is unable to forget her bf and i am not able to forget her..she makes me really happy.. i really feel like just telling her how i really feel towards her.. but i cant do so. i love her to much dat im scared of loosing her at all.. i wish she could be mine.. wat i can do is just wait for the rite time..i just wana let u noe dat i really love u.. u may think its a joke.just because its a sudden.. but its the power of love.. mybe its not love..mybe its just a crush..how should i noe..love is blind.. honestly telling u.. hoping u would read all this n i wana let u noe that i really do love u form the bottom of my heart..

undecided 2

2009-11-30T20:20:00.000-08:00

october 24 2009

A good friend is easy to get when u just become a friend to someone.In the beggining U will appreciate each other presence.. but later.. it turn out to be so different..adapting to sumone lifestlye and attitudes is not sumthing difficult to do, u just have to adapt. but how long do u have to? dats the question dat has been wondering in my head since ever. patients is wat we call a challenging someone heart n feelings.. beleive me..its not dat easy to control it.. but u have to just because u dont wana hurt the other person's feeling..

is that fair? should i seek revenge? once again im left unDeciDeD...

I am Not Using you..

2009-11-28T19:22:00.000-08:00

this particular article is dedicated to a fren of mine.. u noe who u are. i just wana let u know that im not fucking using u for my pleasureness.. i treat u different from anyone cos u deserve to be treated like that. i treat SUe different from everybody else cos she is different. i treat u different cos u need to be treated like dat. pls.. dun make me sound like a fucking pervert. its more into benefits. if u didnt like it u should have stop it from it getting deeper right?

look. i dunt want to argue.i have been doing that all my life now days. sick of fighthing for my rights. tired.i just wana let u noe that i appreciate what u have done for me. i mean everything. im scared that u would fall for me..i really am..i mean how can u. it will be like a bazaar..huru hara.hehe..

anyway i really do appreciate everything that u have done..i really do.. i love u as my fren.i will always love u..cos friendship brings more happiness than lovers.. trust me..

undecided 1

2009-11-20T08:51:00.000-08:00

october 24 2009

i love the fact that i am ur friend. it could even be more wonderful if im the one u love..having u in my arms,holding hands,been bully n punch n pinch. those pain will go away but what stays are the memories. i cnt live without u. im so used having ur presence even without ur notice. maybe its love. but a foolish love that is beyond our control..

i love knowing u.. i want to get to noe u better and deeper.. i would nvr hurt ur feelings.. but wen comes to serious issue..u would not pick me because u already have someone else.. what a fool i am to be in dat position wer im in love wif sumeone who mite not be here for me.. as said its a foolish love dat can go beyond our immagination..im just left der lonely n unDeciDeD......

Gathering

2009-05-31T21:45:00.000-07:00

hello my friends.. sumhow having a blog, u must update it.im not much a writer.so i will prefer to load up sum pics so it would look nice.hehe.. recently, me and my friends had a small gathering in kapitan in gurney tower.it was fun and enjoyable. it was really enjoyable and puas ati to look at my girl face when she meets her best friends. it was quiet sumtime dee when she saw her friends tasha and weena..also came along amir.sumhow got stuck in.hehe..but it was nice..fatin was also der. well she kinda have to cos we boroowed her car. so we drag her also.hehe. i had kapitans tandori nan cheese.. damn nice la weiii..hehe..tajul came by later. so as weena bf.ariff. we chit chat here and der. it was only a while cos tasya had to go home early. i hope to have dat kind of reunion again. i kinda miss dem gossiping around bout ppl and stuf. and at least dilla had seen her friends..hehe..

perjumpaan mahasiswa melayu gpms UITM Kedah

2009-04-13T07:52:00.000-07:00

Perjumpaan mahasiswa melayu gpms uitm kedah,

Perjumpaan ini dilakukan adalah untuk memberi sedikit sebanyak mengenai gabungan pelajar melayu semenanjung GPMS kepada ahli2 baru gpms. tujuan mahasiswa dlm gpms adalah untuk menolong bangsa sendiri dalam education beacuse education is the only power or weapon to defeat other ppl. this is the time where we as the mahasiswa realise that what is going to happen to our young generations?the boys and girls from any kampung? who will take action for them? who is gona help them in leading to a better life? thats when mahasiswa melayu akan masuk dan menolong bangsa sendiri. hanya bangsa sendiri akan tlg bangsa sendiri. thats the truth. im not discreminating other races nor being a racist. u can have all the friends u need in life regardless of races. but by the end of the day, who will be there for u other then ur own kind.....

our availability in universities is because we have realise the importance of protecting our own kind and we are not politician or pas. we are an non-goverment organization with good intension to help our race. in uitm, under my leadership,wif god blessing, we will be organizing a few activitities to show to the students in uitm that we do exist. our first step is to have a group binding where students will get to noe the new committees in gpms. to create mutual understanding and set the right goal of the organization which is to help our kind. next is to organize dinner wif anak yatim. to make them feel that they are not alone in this world. we are here to help and guide them.

below are a few pictures on Perjumpaan Mahasiswa Melayu gpms

walll of MOCK

2009-04-12T01:35:00.000-07:00

in the memories of mock is created because all of his frens loves his presence.hehe..he is funny and alot more. he is not dead kay..and im not gay. hes just not around wif his frens in University.saja rindu ja.hehehe

the legendary of MOCK!!!!!!!!!!

DBS election day

2009-04-12T00:12:00.000-07:00

how to start eyh???

well blogs are made from stories that happen in the writers life right.so basically im just gona tell some stories bout what really happen on DBS election day. As a start, DBS stands for Diploma in Business Studies, thats what im currently studying. recently me and sue(a best friend of mine in the university) decided to run in the election day cos we want to try it for fun. but it turns out not so fun at all. to whom have won i congrats to u all. its just my luck that i dint win or cud it be a faulty miscount of the papers? that we all would not noe..only the fuckers dat is involve would noe.

anyway it took a week for that person to count the votes. trust me.that long to noe the results. as u noe that the main reasons for me and sue to enter is JUST FOR FUN. sum ppl think that i kinda sort of like fucking crazy for the fucking post. dats not true. It is simple, if i had win of course u are entrusted to the fucking job. and im not saying its easy. its complicated. but thank god i dint win cos i can not do the job because i would not get support.

a week later,results came in. i lost and the rest won. i took it like a normal thing u noe. ppl win and ppl lose. but the fact is that i dint noe by how many percent or how many votes i lost to. it got abit unsatisfied der. but i ignore it till the program leader called me up and want to meet me in the library. so i went.

gym : hang ada dgr apa2 tak pasai election day?

me: tak..awat?ada pa?

gym : kira ang tak tau pa2 la?

me: tak,awat? tp sue ada gak tanya aku benda sama ang tanya. awat wei?

gym : tak..mcm ni..ang tau kan ang kalah..bila aku mintak kertas undi nk bg kat miss farah
result, miss terkejut ang tak menang. pastu miss suruh aku bgtau depa untuk kira skali lg. ang tau shiro kata pa? dia kata kertas undi dh buang.

me: la....mana leh buang

gym: tu la.skang aku pun tak tau nk wat cam mana.. aku nk kena wat report program tu. bila aku mintak kt shiro dia kata dah buang. dan aku nk wat statistic cmna? dia kata aku reka sendri statistic.

me: mana leh cmtu...abis skang cmna?

gym: aku pun tak tau.

sumhow we got distracted by a gurl whom i shud not mention name because later she would be proud n "gedik " bout it. after dat we just sat der quietly thinking.

gym: aku mintak kat "name cnt be mention due to the reason of gedik" brapa peratus ang kalah. ang tau dia kata pa kat aku..."pasaipa ang nk tau ikmal punya results, dia dah kalah,kalah la.den a voice from the back of the fon says that semua bdk masria ja vote ikmal bdk mahsuri tak vote pun"

me: ok..takpah la wei. aku nk bwk benda ni naek ke pihak atas plak satgi ang yang kena gak.takpa la wei..

then i left the library thinking what the fuck iss going on la right. dint noe i had some misunderstanding wif the masuri?wtf?

i went back to my room and start smsing sue and ask wat was the story behind all this. and she replied saying dat she dont noe anything. i mean cummon. gym said the gurl said that not one mahsuri vote for me but sue is from mahsuri...fucking complicated ayh?hmmm

den da excitement of the story begins(cat fights..hehe)

sue called me but it was not sue on the line. a person dat i thot was sumbody else. she started screaming on the fon all. at dat time wif the confussion and dissaponted and all, she(the caller) has lighten up the fire in me. i scream back to her. its ok for her to scream to me but its not okay for me to do dat to her.. u see? girls can be so freaking childish. it sort of like a cat fight la cos my roomates all became quiet and just watching me mumbling in penang dialogs.hehehe..it was funny. they fucking think i cant speak penang stlye. hehhe..den i hug up the fon. later a msg enter saying dat "ni ang dh kalah cukopla, kalau tak puas ati pi la jumpa shiro,ada brani" i took it as a challenge. with the angry mode and fire in me, i really wanted to wack them but u noe.. its not worth it. i text back saying if u gurls are guys mmg dh lama akn kena pukoi..

but sumhow they took the msg as if im discriminating the force of women...MY ASS LA WEI.. they think i am a women beater..bodo gla.

anyways it just end like dat u noe. after dat i fucking let it go and all. fuck who is involve...

as a conclusion for this story...just a reminder... dun fucking underestimate me aite. u never noe things i can do for my name n my egoness..

a msg to whom it may concern:

1) if you want to do things that involve in cheating..do it proffessionaly la
2) ada ubi ada batas, satu ari aku akn balas.
3) jgn igat aku tak tau hampa sapa

undecided

2009-04-11T03:55:00.000-07:00

yea...this was insane..at that time i was talking to dilla on the fon..hehe.. i was in front of a book store. the best part of this bookstore is that it sells quite cheap magazines and books. not bad la actually.. but it's out dated obviously.

check out the SHOEs man!!!!!!!!!

Bling2.hehe

this i think is in mid valley. new one..not bad la. nice. food was not bad but expensive.hehe. as u can see i was talking to 2 phones at da same time.. wat to do....very important person to important people.hehhe ni mua kerja abg matin la duk tgkp my pics all.heheh

new in Town

2009-04-11T03:17:00.000-07:00

life's goes on. i prefer to put picture because sumhow pictures has a thousand words in it.hehehe

this was in queensbay. chicken rice shop..

im quite new to all this.but as in today. i will start using this blog.cm besh je.can put pics. i prefer here cos facebooking is to crowded.myspace pening kpala nk handle.den freindster dh cm bowing.hehehe